Half dead wasn't what I planned to be [entries|friends|calendar]
Robin → ☆

Je Amis Aprs Sortie
i'm drowning by numbers
my halo is bent; it's a fat fucking lie
and so the abstract motor gives in
it says, "at least i tried."
at least i tried
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[ 02 December 2009 ]
[ music | Cute Is What We Aim For - Do What You Do | Powered by Last.fm ]

I got about 45 minutes of overtime today at work. Most of the day, I just stood around while everybody else was desperately trying to keep up with the high volume. I didn't even have anything stacked out. But for the last hour and a half, we were all slammed. So hard, in fact, that I couldn't even load anything. It was all I could do just to throw the packages relatively close to their respective trucks. I clocked out at 9:15 and it was 9:30 by the time I left, and I'd been there since 3:30. Anything over 5 hours is overtime and we get time and a half, so I was making $16.50 an hour, except I worked only 45 minutes of overtime. But that's still an hour after we're usually done. But if UPS has got the money, I've got the time.

Now I'm waiting for Patrick to come pick me up and take me to the doctor. And then I'm going to get Sheetz and take a nap.

!@$#%

My Top 10 Christmas Songs [ 30 November 2009 ]
[ music | Rise Against - The Approaching Curve | Powered by Last.fm ]

1. Blink 182 - Happy Holidays, You Bastard
2. Trans-Siberian Orchestra - Carol of the Bells
3. Fall Out Boy - Yule Shoot Your Eye Out
4. *NSYNC - Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays
5. Blink 182 - I Won't Be Home for Christmas
6. Save Ferris - Christmas Wrapping
7. The Waitresses - Christmas Wrapping
8. Blink 182 - Silent Night (live)
9. Adam Sandler - The Hanukkah Song
10. My Chemical Romance - All I Want for Christmas Is You

!@$#%

[ 30 November 2009 ]
[ music | Thrice - Ultra Blue | Powered by Last.fm ]

The weather in central Virginia is the most random, fickle thing I've ever encountered. In late September/early October, it was almost below freezing and for the last couple weeks at least it's been in the 60's or 70's during the day. I don't even think we've had our first frost yet. We usually get it in the last two weeks of October, but the temperature has been really mild lately. I don't like it at all. I love cold weather and even in the 50's, I'm sweating profusely if I exert enough energy, whether it be physical or emotional. We had a fairly mild, relatively low humidity summer, but the weather didn't change much since then. It was pretty wet, too. And lately we've been getting even more rain. The weather here has always been stranger than the surrounding area, but even this year is uncharacteristic of the "norm."

!@$#%

[ 29 November 2009 ]
It was a real shame that I fell asleep long before the USC/UCLA game was on (at 10pm EST). Evidently, a near-riot broke out with less than a minute left in the entire game. I never got to see the context of it all, just when Matt Barkley threw an amazing touchdown pass.

Here's my understanding of the series of events:

>>UCLA didn't play any defense the entire game.
>>USC was winning 21-7, so with :52 left, Barkley took a knee, and that would've ended the game, mercifully for UCLA.
>>Instead of accepting graciously, UCLA called a time out.
>> Matt Barkley threw a touchdown pass to #16 Tight End James Boyd.
>> Inexplicably, a flag was thrown right after the extra point.
>> UCLA charged and almost attacked the USC sideline because they have absolutely no class.
>> USC barely left their sideline, and their coaching staff tried to corrall them while UCLA's coaching staff lead the stampede to USC's sideline.
>> UCLA and all their fans are hypocrites for saying Pete Carroll has no class.
!@$#%

[ 28 November 2009 ]
It'd be an absolute travesty if Oklahoma State (9-2) ends up going to the Fiesta Bowl over Boise State (CURRENTLY UNDEFEATED) simply because the Big 12 has a de facto association with that particular bowl. It may happen that BOTH Boise State AND Oklahoma State will meet each other in the Fiesta Bowl, just like Boise State and Oklahoma (Big 12) did in the 2007 Fiesta Bowl and Boise State came up with a miraculous and exciting win at literally the last second. I wish I had that game on tape/DVD.

In any event, I think the bowls should have no association with any particular conference. There can still be a BCS bowl system, and it can definitely coexist with a play off system. All the BCS needs to do is determine the top 8 teams, which if it were implemented this year, all the undefeated teams would rightfully have a shot at the championship game. All teams that were eliminated in previous rounds could still play in the remaining BCS bowl games. ANY of the BCS bowl games. The orange bowl would no longer be associated with the ACC. The big 12 wouldn't own the fiesta bowl. the rose bowl would no longer be exclusive to the big 12 or pac 10. College football is not a business, and it's not a franchise.

At the very least, if you insist on keeping the BCS, the top 10 teams should go to the 5 BCS bowls and of course #1 and #2 should meet in the championship bowl. The whole point of the BCS is to decide a clear-cut #1 and #2 and it's failed do so in every year of its existence. The most notible is the 2003-2004 season when LSU went to the championship game and USC had to settle for beating the shit out of Michigan, and share the title of co-champions with two-loss LSU since the BCS deemed LSU to be better than USC. I can guarantee you had LSU and USC met in that game, USC would've beat the shit out of LSU as well. Any day of the week, you just say when.
!@$#%

[ 26 November 2009 ]
I'm at Patrick's parents' house right now and we just got back from seeing Pirate Radio. His parents are so insistent on everything we do, and that we have to do it together, everyone. We always HAVE to see a movie. And we always HAVE to all see the same one...his parents dictate to us what our plans for the day are, and we can't be left to our own devices. We had to go on a walk today at the Duke Gardens and I didn't want to. I didn't want to see the movie. It's not that i don't want to do anything, I just don't want to do what they MAKE me do. It's ridiculous how belligerent they get, when they can be so mild mannered otherwise.

So the movie, it was pretty wack. I thought it'd be more of the pirate radio interacting with the government and it'd be more of a legal battle to bring music to the public, but it was mostly just a bachelor pad on a boat. There was sex, smoking, drunks, and drinking. One guy's brand new wife cheated on him with one of his fellow DJs the morning after they were married, and the guy got over it instantly. Another guy's father was DJ on the boat and the kid had never known his father and he just accepted him immediately. There was no conflict. It's like it wasn't REAL. It was so uneventful, with little involvement with the government's plot to shut down pirate radio. 2% of the movie was them foiling pirate radio. The last 20 minutes was the only good part because that actually was suspenseful when the boat was sinking and and nobody could leave and they were all going to drown, but since they were a radio station, they broadcast to their listeners who came out in a small fleet to save the DJs and everyone lived.

At the end credits, they showed Eminem, Jay-Z, and Taylor Swift. They're not rock 'n roll! They're not even respectable artists! If the movie's objective was to inform the world of the power of unadulterated, unbastardized rock music, they ruined their whole mission because GOOD rock died a good 20 years ago. What people call music now, is substandard to ANYTHING from the 60's, when this movie took place.
!@$#%

[ 25 November 2009 ]
Today at work I had an injury; I tripped over a package that was lying in the middle of the truck and and when I landed, I landed unevenly on my left foot and tore my right knee open in three places on the grate. I had blood all over both legs. When it happened, I couldn't get up; I lied on the floor for maybe 5 minutes. Everything got dark and I felt like I was going to throw up. I couldn't sit up, I could only lie down. Noel called Adam, and he told me first that I had to sit up, and then told Noel to get me to the otherside of the airbelt as safely as possible. I walked to the other side by myself but they called Carla, who went to school to be a nurse so I don't know what she's doing at UPS, but she does safety and first aid stuff, I guess.

I got an ice pack for my ankle and gauze for my knee, but it bled through. I had to walk all the way to the front of the building, which felt a lot longer this time. Going up and down the stairs was the worst. Every time I put weight on my legs, I felt like I couldn't take another step. But I tried to walk as normally as possible. It feels like I'm dragging around a wooden leg. I saw about 4 different people and they all asked me the same thing. I had to take four tests about safety and proper safety procedures, and then I had to take three more ONLINE. They also had to get a picture of the injuries and document it in the computer and I had to talk to the district manager. He talked to me like I got hurt on purpose, and said that I'm lucky and it could've been a lot worse. I had to sign papers saying that I have to go to the safety meetings for 30 days, and that I know the proper safety procedures. They even recreated the scene of the crime and took pictures of the injury, step by step as it happened until I fell. I don't know exactly what happened; it all happened so fast.

The whole process took two and a half hours. It was such bullshit. Now I'm trying to get in touch with Patrick. I've been calling him since I got home, almost an hour ago. His phone is ringing but he isn't answering. Maybe he's not awake yet, but we're supposed to leave to go to Durham sometime this morning unless I was uninvited and no one told me again.
!@$#%

[ 24 November 2009 ]
[ music | Showbread - George Romero Will Be At Our Wedding | Powered by Last.fm ]

My parents jewed me out of staying home for Thanksgiving; I saw a turkey thawing on he kitchen table. They said they were going to Keyser for Thanksgiving, so get out of it I said I'd stay here and do whatever Patrick is doing, which is going to his parents' house. Now my parents are staying home and I have to go out of town to his parents' house for three days. Bleh.

Also, my new pants make me look frumpy because they're so big that when I wear a belt with them, they bunch up by my crotch. I knew I should've gotten a 16! My mom loves to remind me that I'm an 18, even though 18's are always big on me.

!@$#%

[ 24 November 2009 ]
[ music | Saetia - Roquentin | Powered by Last.fm ]

I just went to Old Navy and got a cardigan, dress pants, and those frilly heels. I'm like Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality in heels, but I like to wear nice ones sometimes. They didn't have exactly what I wanted, but I have this crazy obsession with spending all the money I brought with me. And the heels looked a lot better online. My feet are so small and stubby yet so fat that no shoe ever fits right, unless they're wide. These heels definitely aren't, though. So my feet look all scrunched but they're too small for the toes to peep through the open-toe part of the shoe!

I just wanted to get in and out as quickly as I could.

I'm so agoraphobic; every time I got out in public, I get so anxious. I sweat, I hyperventilate, my chest gets tight, my heart pounds out of my chest, my hair gets frizzy, I get nauseated, and I can't breathe. but I can't be a recluse my whole life, even though that'd be nice. I never go outside when I see one of my neighbors outside because I don't want to talk to them. I'll always be living in fear, regardless of whether I go out every DAY.

!@$#%

[ 22 November 2009 ]
I cannot WAIT until I can get married and afford to leave this hellhole. Patrick and I are talking about marriage, but he doesn't believe in marriage. I keep harassing him, saying that he promised to marry me, even though I don't actually love him. I just don't want to be alone. Of course I tell him I love him, though. That's a divorce waiting to happen, I know.

But my mom is a big reason I'm trying to leave. She said that we were all going to West Virginia for Thanksgiving and I don't want to see my newly married cousin and his wife because I'll get extremely jealous and I can't handle that. So I chose to go with Patrick and Stephanie to their parents' house in Durham, North Carolina. I found out on Friday that if I work the Friday after thanksgiving, I'll get time and a half for working Thursday, but I'm going out of town so I can't work then. Working that Friday is completely voluntary.

Well, my mom told me Friday that they may not actually really be going to West Virginia and might just stay here, AFTER I told Patrick I'd go with him to Durham and he said that we're leaving Wednesday morning, right after I get home from work, and we're staying until sometime on Friday. So my mom keeps badgering me about how I COULD'VE gotten more money for working the friday after thanksgiving, but when I made my decision, my choices were go out of town with Patrick or...go out of town with my parents. So either way, I wouldn't be available to work. And my parents won't let me stay home by myself for Thanksgiving. So what am I supposed to do? Hire a stunt double? Fuck!
!@$#%

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